I posted on my facebook wall that I would answer any question for this friday’s edition of fun.stuff.friday… needless to say I have some awesome friends and followers. I literally answered every question… (even the kind of rude one.)

Oh, and thanks to Sarah for that photo of my legs and camera. I’ve wanted that photo for a long time. (Yes, Mom, I know my head is cut off in it. Its supposed to be that way.)

Without further adieu… answers to all of your questions-o’-Valerie.

Yo, What’s up girl?
Just chillin’, chillin’, mindin’ my business… (I’ll give you five points if you can sing the rest of that.)

How do you get your couples (who are shy in front of the camera) to feel comfortable while shooting an engagement session?
I talk… a lot. We usually walk to the farthest place we’ll be going to first because it gives me a chance to talk a little bit to them… so its not taking photos straight out of the bat. Someday, I’d like to be able to meet everyone for coffee or drinks before my sessions start… but that requires an extra hour of paying a babysitter at the moment.
And I tend to make them feel awkward on purpose. 90% of people will burst out laughing if you make them feel awkward…
Also, I always loosely set up the shot… meter… take a few and then tell them I’m re-metering when people are looking extra stiff… they tend to relax if they think their photo isn’t really be taken. (NOTE TO CLIENTS… sometimes I really am just metering and adjusting… don’t worry you’re not going to get that shot of you retying your shoe and checking your teeth.)

If you could pick one part of running a photography business that is the hardest, what would it be?
Unfortunately, running a photography business has a lot of ups and downs… the part I constantly struggle with is the fact that its a subjective thing. Not everyone is going to like and appreciate what I do… and its easy to get stuck on the ones that don’t like it, versus all of my awesome, amazing clients and followers who do.

Why don’t you edit your photos?
Uhhhh… I do. If you’re referring to the fact that I generally don’t run crazy actions and presets on my photos… then its just a matter of preference. I want my photos to be modern but timeless. In ten years if turning your photos completely blue is the new trend… mine won’t look bad because they’re whatever the trend of right now is. I experimented with some different editing before and just found out that I really prefer clean, classic edits.

What is your favorite thing to shoot?
Weddings. Hands down. I love it. I get a lot of grief from my fine art photographer and photojournalist friends for being a wedding photographer… but I wouldn’t trade it for doing anything else in the world. My photos actually get hung on walls everyday. People love them. And cherish them. And I get to attend pretty awesome parties and actually be a part of someone’s life. And I LOVE taking photos of the entire wedding… I love the getting ready photos AND the ceremony AND the reception.

What is your favorite lens?
I seriously don’t have one. I can’t pick. I love all of the ones I own.

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk…all that junk inside your trunk?
If you’re referring to the actual junk inside of my trunk… probably give it to goodwill. Its leftover props from photoshoots that I’ll probably never use again.
If you’re referring to some sort of butt… I don’t have one. At all. I was not gifted with anything remotely known as junk in my trunk. So nothing… its impossible to do anything with something you don’t have.

How many sessions & weddings do you take per month?
Typically 2-3 weddings a month and 4-6 sessions depending on whether its 2 or 3 weddings… this year is a little different.

Is it easy for you to balance your profession and home life, or do you struggle?
Nope. Its my husband’s big complaint about me… because I work out of my house its hard to differentiate the two. Its hard to turn off the business-side if you sit down to do nothing but remember you have a never-ending list of things you could be doing for work. I have a goal of getting an office in 2013. I think that will help a lot.

How do you feel about the photography field in terms of competitiveness and helping out other photographers?
I think competition is stupid. I mean I guess technically we’re all competing against each other around here… but I want people to want me for what I do and what my photos are… not just because I’m another photographer.
And as far as helping out other photographers… I am 110% all for it. It’s my biggest gripe about our industry. I wish it were more of a community. I was and still have been treated really badly by other photographers. While I don’t personally feel I am at a point to be hosting workshops or legitimately teaching… just because I still feel like I have a long way to go myself… I am more than happy to help others out when I have the time… or answer questions if I have the time. Also, I love second shooting. LOVE it.

What does your wedding gear arsenal entail?
A Canon 5Dii and a backup (I’m saving for the new 5Diii I think… I wasn’t going to get it… but a few of the reviews by people I trust have me sold.), a 35 1.4L, 50 1.2L, 100 2.8L IS, 135 2L, 200 2.8L, a sigma 20 1.8, sigma 50 1.4 (for receptions/dark ceremonies… it focuses WAY faster and is AWESOME) and a sigma 85 1.4. Two 580exii and a 580ex with radiopoppers- the px system (only if I absolutely need them)… a video light… a grey card… and a giant white diffuser/reflector/sun swatter… and two kelly moore bags.

How many tattoos do you have and which ones are your favorite?
Depends how you count them… so we’ll just say a sleeve on my left arm, and a bunch are in pairs… two on my chest, two on my wrists, two on my calves… three on my back and two other random ones… and a ton more I want. For the most part, they all have meanings (the corset lacing on my back with brass knuckles at the bottom clearly doesn’t mean anything except for being awesome)… but my favorites are the one for my kids… with dice with their birthdays, the one for my grandparents that has playing cards, flowers and pennies (you’d get it if you knew them), and the love letter for my husbandman… I also have a mom heart for my mom and and an anchor for my dad, and a skull with a pomp and glasses for my brother… and a sugar skull gal for me… and (almost) everyone in chris’s family has a different version of the sailor jerry poison girl. I also have a paint brush… and a few band tattoos… and I’m going to stop now before I wind up listing them all… long story short… I can’t pick.

How does it feel being blonde?
It was fun while it lasted. Its gone already. ha ha.

How did you become so AWESOME?
Its because I say “awesome” so often… eventually it just happened. (Just kidding! Thanks for thinking I’m awesome.)

How would you describe your brand?
It’s me. Fun, quirky, a little bit of an edge… not traditional at all…I’m obsessed with anything vintage… so I gave it a slight throwback to vintage lables and signage… but modern overall.

Do you have lucky wedding outfits with a lot of mo jo?
Maybe starting this year. I’ll be branching out of all black. gasp.

Am I your favorite Asian photographer in Chicago?
Wouldn’t it be funny if I said no… all joking aside… of course. If you guys don’t know who Jiho is yet… he was the mastermind behind the watermarked photo that went quasi-viral on facebook… a pretty hilarious guy… and an awesome photographer who does a lot of fun things with flash that I actually enjoy. I’ll be heading out to Chicago/Iowa to help him with a wedding this summer… that couple doesn’t even know what they have in store. I feel a photographer reception dance-off in my future. I have to challenge him for this award…

What advice would you give to a new photographer?
I actually wrote a whole post on it a few months ago… here you go. If you love it… work at it.

Can you teach me how to Dougie?
I can teach you how to Carlton… or do the runningman… which are far superior dances.

Do you have a piece of equipment you couldn’t live without?
All of it… I can’t imagine not having any of it. I’m most thankful for showit right now (even though its not really equipment) because it enabled me to make a website that was completely me on my own… And good second shooters… (don’t worry guys I don’t think of you as equipment).

Are there wedding elements/rituals/decorations that just make you cringe?
I thought about this one for a long time… trying to come up with something specific… anything where the people are just doing it for the sake of doing it… I’m a HUGE, firm believer in making your wedding your own. It should feel like you.
And not that any of my brides have control of this… but I hate crazy carpeting in venues… I’m going to hold an intervention with venues and tell them to put in hardwood instead.

Are you still planning on doing your own wedding one day?
We’re hoping (finally) for next year… We have a six month window finally that we SHOULD be ok to go ahead and plan in.

What are you most excited about this year?
I have so many awesome weddings this year… at really amazing venues… I’m excited about my new website and branding finally being so me… and I am SO SO SO excited about the new things I just picked out for my 2013 weddings and beyond.

If you could change something about your business what would it be?
I’ve pretty much changed everything I wanted to… I threw all of what I thought I had to do business-wise out…(here’s to hoping it works!)… Artistically, I just have to figure out a way to start adding the shots I want to take with the shots my clients are expecting still because they booked me based on what they saw… and I want an office. And an assistant. Those are in the works for 2013 though…

Or what would you do different if you were going to start over again?
I wouldn’t have tried to compete with the area photographers… and would have just come out guns blazing the way I wanted to all along… its hard work backtracking and trying to change things once you’re already a little established…

How do you balance being a professional photographer, a mom, a friend, a family member and an all natural bada$$?
I’m not very good at it. I sort of just tackle things as they come along. I’m sure there is a way better system… but it happens. I don’t have very much time for friends these days. I wish I did… I do most of my chatting with them on facebook… and that’s far and few between. They’re awesome because they stick around and don’t hate me even though I don’t get to see them very often… Its easy with my kids though… they’re too cute to say no to… and they live with me. I get distracted by coloring books and legos a lot.

When did you feel like you “made it” as a photographer?
I still don’t feel like I “made it”… but I’m pretty happy with where I’m at and will be (hopefully) next year… I have a few goals I set for myself. I’m a hoping a few will happen this year. I’m currently in year three going on four of my 5 year plan. Get back to me at the end of 2013. I own the fact that I am a “professional photographer” now though… I’m proud of what I’m putting out. I have amazing clients… I can’t really ask for more.

Thank you to everyone who asked and sent questions… some of them were the same so I only posted them once… I think I did enough writing for now… so I will just leave you with this song… because I’ll be heading to Richmond to see them at the end of June and I’m pretty stoked.

http://www.valeriedemo.com/2012/03/i-dont-think-i-have-ever-cried-so-hard-in-my-entire-life-fun-ish-stuff-fridays/ http://www.valeriedemo.com/2012/03/i-dont-think-i-have-ever-cried-so-hard-in-my-entire-life-fun-ish-stuff-fridays/#comments Fri, 09 Mar 2012 21:16:45 +0000 admin http://www.valeriedemo.com/?p=3567 This is my son.

His name is Jakob, but we call him Jake. Although, Maddie, my daughter, nicknamed him “jakey” shortly after he was born because the rest of our names ended in an “ie/y” sound and “it wasn’t fair” that Jake’s didn’t. He loves his stuffed monkey “dookie”, his blankey, his pillow pet, the smurfs, toodles from mickey mouse clubhouse and his “sissy” (Maddie). He loves jumping off of things and attempting to give me heart attacks. He likes to swing at the park… and slide down the slide… and popsicles. He loves popsicles. A LOT. He has what is pretty much the best laugh in the entire world. Seriously… it’d beat all those viral baby laughs. He’s allergic to milk and soy… and basically can’t eat anything processed because of it. (That could be an entirely different blog post.)

And as of lately he is the world’s best high-fiver.

Jake was diagnosed with PDD-NOS one year ago.
PDD-NOS is Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified and is on the Autism Spectrum.
It means, basically, that he doesn’t quite fit into the other categories as they are diagnosed…
His paperwork says he has “atypical autism citing a severe and pervasive impairment in the development of reciprocal social interaction associated with impairment in either verbal or nonverbal communication skills and a weakened but present presence of typical behaviors and functions of those usually on the spectrum.”
Also known as… he doesn’t (well… didn’t) talk, has trouble communicating, and has some behavioral aspects of autism, but not enough of any of them to distinctly classify him as one of the specific disorders/delays.

One year ago… Jake could not say mommy… or momma… or mom… on purpose, and have it mean that he needed me.
He could not ask for a drink.
He could not tell us that his arm hurt when he fell down.
All he could do was cry.
A lot.

He has no fear whatsoever. He is preoccupied with small objects and almost always has something tucked away in his little hand while he is playing. He gets overwhelmed at new places. He doesn’t always respond to you even if there is no noise and you are sitting next to him. He has a hard time looking into other people’s eyes. He flaps his hands when he is frustrated and throws himself to the floor because he doesn’t know what else to do. He never really babbled as a baby. He never danced as a baby. He didn’t give kisses or want to be held that often or pay attention to the people who were holding him. He couldn’t follow simple directions.

I had scheduled a full wedding season last year. I was completely booked for 2011 by October of 2010.

When the diagnosis came down, it hit like a ton of bricks. Autism is a scary word when you don’t know much about it.
I wasn’t sure what to think; how to feel; what to expect; what it meant.
“Fortunately,” they said, “He is still very young. There are a lot of treatments and therapies we can try and there is hope that he can completely turn around and just be another Kindergartener by the time he is five.”
They also said some scarier things… using the words “worse” and “digression” and “possibility of a different stronger diagnosis down the line.”

It was then that my mommaness kicked in.
I was determined to do anything and everything I could for him.
This year I have tried everything short of strapping him into a bus and sending him away everyday for classes (I wasn’t ready for that… and he wouldn’t have understood it yet… so either was he). There have been playgroups, therapists- in home and at an office, and hours of at home floorplay involving therapy. I spend my entire mornings while Maddie is at school with Jake. Reading books… watching educational dvds… just playing and repeating things and trying to get him to repeat things back. Testing things. Trying new things. Trying anything and everything that was suggested.

All of my extra time went to Jake… time I had scheduled in my pre-diagnosis days for editing and blogging and designing and emails.

“A treatment method or an educational method that will work for one child may not work for another child. The one common denominator for all of the young children is that early intervention does work, and it seems to improve the prognosis.” – Temple Grandin

Around June, Jake started saying lots of words.
Counting things.
Pointing to things on TV or out the window and naming them.
He started calling us “momma” and “daddy” and “sissy”.
Granted, he started calling all women “momma” and all guys “daddy”… but it was something.
(Although, “sissy” has always been the only Sissy. It’s cute how much they love each other.)
More and more words came.
He would point to his nose and say “nose”.
There were words but there was still no “communication”… but it was something.
There was a lot of mimicing conversations but not actually saying words. It was a step in the right direction.
However, if he needed a drink or was hungry or dropped something under the couch or was tired or had a stomach ache or wanted his diaper changed it always turned into a fit… a fit out of frustration of not being able to tell us what he needed or what was wrong.

The fits don’t have a “home”… so if we were in a grocery store and the the seat in the grocery cart was cold and he didn’t like it…
a fit happened.
And they’re not pretty.
And strangers don’t take very nicely to them.
You get looks and glares and the occasional “you know a little discipline wouldn’t hurt” quip from a bystander.
(Thank you lady, by the way… that was oh so very nice of you.)
I can’t tell my son to stop or we’re leaving. It doesn’t work that way.
I can give Maddie the look. She knows to shape up.
Jake just wants to be understood… and isn’t going to stop until you go through a list of plausible explanations and attempt to rectify the situation… sometimes you never figure it out.
Sometimes it takes ten minutes of guessing what the unrecognizable babble talking is supposed to mean.

People take and took things in all different directions. Not only did you get glares in the store making you feel like the worst parent on the face of the planet… and get to overhear whispers of “I wish she could just control her son. Some people just shouldn’t have children” (yes, that was really said at one point)… you also got the “oh, he’s fine… he doesn’t have that” side, like its some horrible, foul-smelling odor instead of a learning and communication disorder… to the “oh, i’m so sorry” crowd with these looks upon their faces like he was stricken with a life-threatening illness.

At home he started taking our hands and leading us to what he wanted.
If he wanted a drink he started bringing us his cup (or more accurately, throwing it in our general direction)… or would drag us to in front of the cabinet where we keep the sippy cups…
When he was hungry he started bringing us to the fridge.
At least it was a way of showing us what he wanted. It made things a little easier.

Over the past months, everyday it seems our little dude has had something else come flying out of his mouth. He would call out “dookie, dookie, where are you” looking for his monkey.
But he still had never actually communicated anything with us. It was hard to see him doing so well, and realizing the main goal still wasn’t happening.

And then it did.
The past month has been this flurry of him saying things and expressing himself…
It started with him walking into the dining room where my computer is, rubbing his belly and saying “Momma, huuuunnnggrrryyyyy”.
I don’t think I can remember a time where I have ever cried harder in my entire life. Tears of happiness. I’m pretty sure I could have literally filled up a bucket. And he wasn’t even wondering why I was hugging him so hard and bawling… he was smiling ear to ear.
He knew.
He did it.
All at once it went from crying and fits to “Momma, hungry”… “Momma, drink?”… “Momma, Juice?”… “Momma, Chocolate Milk?”… “Momma, Sleepy-time, Jammies On!”… “Momma, ball gone!”… “Momma, oh no, smurfs broken!”… “Momma, ouch-y”…”Momma, WAKE UP!” (in the morning ha ha)… and my favorite so far was “OOps, I’m sorry.” And after each one he gets these huge, teeth exposing giant grins… he is so proud of himself (unless of course its an emergency like the fact that Clumsy the smurf’s leg fell off and I have to fix it… “OH NO MOOOOMMMAAAA… CLUMSY BROKEN! HELLLLLP! MOMMA HELP”). He “sings” the itsy bitsy spider… makes funny faces… and gives kisses. He laughs at himself… and tries to make me laugh all the time.
Our journey is not over. And we will always be working towards more. But we’re getting there. There are still plenty of tears and cries out of frustration… but at least they are getting fewer and farther between.

So, not that I ever thought otherwise… but all of the time I spent working with him… laying on the floor… reading the same word board books… scheduling things… rescheduling business things… being late on emails, and designs, and not being as available as I should be… were completely worth it. The dishes being piled up constantly and the laundry never being done and my house never looking spotless totally worth it.

I haven’t really ever written about it anywhere or don’t post too much about it anywhere. And its not because I’m ashamed. It’s because I didn’t want a pity-party… or some sort of accolade for being “strong”… but today as I sit here and listen to my son and daughter playing ring around the rosey and BOTH of them singing the song… I wanted to say thank you to my clients for allowing me to not always be on the top of my game. For understanding the fact that your albums come later than they should because I try my hardest to at least get your photos to you. For understanding when I don’t always return an email right away. And for understanding that I am a real person and that my family always comes first.

That and because I feel like even though not too many people read my blog, I can make people aware of what autism and the autism spectrum can be… and that maybe that crying kid in the store doesn’t just need a little more discipline and save another mom from what I have had to hear a few times. And I am one of the lucky ones. Jake is one of the lucky ones. And although we still have a long road ahead of us, we could have had to go through a lot more… and there are many many parents out there learning how to relate to children with very different ways of learning and communicating. I want people to know that its just a different way of relating to the world. It’s not a disease… its just a different “normal”… but is something that is becoming an epidemic of sorts. Almost everyone I have talked to had some sort of skewed idea and NO idea on just how prevalent Autism is in our society now.

I think that I will close up this bad boy now… because I clearly have done enough typing for the day… but instead of my normal music selection at the end of it… I will leave you with this video.
Please watch it.

]]> http://www.valeriedemo.com/2012/03/i-dont-think-i-have-ever-cried-so-hard-in-my-entire-life-fun-ish-stuff-fridays/feed/ 12 http://www.valeriedemo.com/2012/02/feathers-friends-and-gorgeous-light-virginia-wedding-photographer/ http://www.valeriedemo.com/2012/02/feathers-friends-and-gorgeous-light-virginia-wedding-photographer/#comments Tue, 21 Feb 2012 18:06:21 +0000 admin http://www.valeriedemo.com/?p=3306

Ah, the website. Its coming… fingers crossed for the end of April… and along with it… lots of shooting for me, and lots of new shoots to fill up my b-e-a-uuuu-tiful new site.
Big HUGE giant thanks to my friend Jennifer… who is my first 2014 booking- YAY!… for taking a little time out of her busy schedule while she was home from Mali to come and play photography session with me… (Its a cool new game. You should try it.) AND to my friend Jonathan for coming out and holding things… and generally being awesome. You’ll see some of these on the new site… but I wanted to go ahead and share my favorites from the day!

Hi Jonathan!!!

]]> http://www.valeriedemo.com/2012/02/feathers-friends-and-gorgeous-light-virginia-wedding-photographer/feed/ 1 http://www.valeriedemo.com/2012/02/ashs-bridal-session-virginia-wedding-photography/ http://www.valeriedemo.com/2012/02/ashs-bridal-session-virginia-wedding-photography/#comments Wed, 01 Feb 2012 21:27:25 +0000 admin http://www.valeriedemo.com/?p=3211

Ash is graduating this spring from Regent University… so that is where we wound up at for her bridal photos… at her soon-to-be alma matter. It’s a beautiful campus… so I can’t complain. (Who can complain about black and white checkered floors and beautiful archways?)

Beyond the fact that my awesome red-haired bride… now has AWESOME pink hair… she’s also awesome because she kept her jacket on for some of the photos since it was January and all… AND she decided to wait until AFTER the wedding for her formal bridal session (not that I do anything all that “formal”) so we didn’t have to worry as much about getting her awesome dress dirty.

{INSERT WAITING UNTIL AFTER YOUR WEDDING FOR YOUR BRIDAL SESSION PLUG HERE.}

Without further adieu… here are some of my favorites from our session on Sunday.

P.S. YAY FOR SHOOTING AGAIN.

]]> http://www.valeriedemo.com/2012/02/ashs-bridal-session-virginia-wedding-photography/feed/ 4 http://www.valeriedemo.com/2012/01/what-i-wish-someone-would-have-told-me-fun-ish-stuff-friday/ http://www.valeriedemo.com/2012/01/what-i-wish-someone-would-have-told-me-fun-ish-stuff-friday/#comments Fri, 13 Jan 2012 14:04:32 +0000 admin http://www.valeriedemo.com/?p=3072 I don’t really know how “fun” this post is… but its something I feel is important… so here goes my “fun-ish”.stuff.friday post…

I get a LOT of emails from photographers just starting out… and from people who love photography but are thinking of making it a career choice… and from people who just want to talk shop; people who want advice; people who want to be pointed in the right direction.
I love that people seek out answers… and that people are doing things they are passionate about. I love it. I’ll cheer them on… you chase your dream, you dream chaser, you! And I do my very very best to answer questions. I know how it feels to be there. I emailed approximately 3,256,895 photographers when I was setting up my business and not a single one gave me the time of day… and that was after I had already spent time second shooting. I had a better grasp than most starting out… but lets be honest, I had no clue what I was doing. I wish that I could sit down with every single person and give them the low down, down and dirty, full-blown run down on everything…

True Fact: Wanna talk shop? I do not know that much about “shop”.

I suck at running my business. That’s something I do know. Don’t get me wrong… it’s not like I don’t bring in income… or that I feel like I’m not successful… And I don’t regret anything. I have done what has been the right thing for me… gotten a LOT of crap for it at times… but I am the ONLY person who can know what is right for me. (As you are for you.)

I get too invested. I work too much. I automatically turn clients into friends. I’m not very strict even when things are in my contract. I stay longer than I’m supposed to… show up before I have to… and give away a lot. I hire and pay second shooters out of my own money even when that option wasn’t chosen by my clients because I don’t want to miss anything and bust my butt to get photos delivered quickly. I try my darndest to please everyone all the time. I overdo it because I don’t have a studio… because I have a long album wait time… because I have to balance my schedule with kids requesting drinks and school bus schedules and therapy schedules and basic shananigans of a very precocious five year old and just about the most active three year old you’ll ever meet. I can’t sit down for more than 10 minutes at a time without getting up for something.

I love the photographer side too much… and the whole business owner side not enough.

So… here are a few things I wish someone would have told me when I was starting my business.

Life Lessons in Running a Photography Business 101

1. You Cannot Please Everyone.
It doesn’t matter how hard you work, how well you think you’ve done, how far beyond the call you went… its just not possible. Try not to be too crushed when someone isn’t happy. Photography is an art and not a Math. There is no definite end result. Just when you think “I BLEW this one out of the water” this little fact will creep back in… along the lines somewhere, someone isn’t going to be happy. Just be prepared.

2. Unlike most things in life… Other Photographers are equally as harsh of a critic as you are of yourself. Sometimes… Mostly… harsher.
Listen to the ones who want to help you… give you pointers. Ask for help. Swallow your pride. Listen to critiques. Ignore the rude people, haters, and people who are just mean for mean’s sake. If this is something you want to do… work your little hiney off for it. Everyone starts somewhere… You’re going to grow and improve and flourish… it doesn’t come automatically. Know that in the beginning. This is a tough industry… build up some thick skin if you want to survive. Make sure you keep yourself in a position where you stay your own worst critic. Always strive to improve.

3. You’re going to hate your processing in a year. And probably all of the photos you’ve taken.
Don’t over do it. You’ll wind up hating it.
When you have one of those “man, I suck” days (which I have had a lot of lately)… just go back and look at work from when you very first picked up a camera. If you can see how far you’ve come… imagine how far you can go.

4. Clients forget you have a life beyond your business… because you are a business.
You’ll get emails asking where photos are three hours or the day after the session. It will happen. Explain your processing time up front… be as specific in terms of receiving things as possible. It’ll be rocky sometimes… but you’ll find your stride and workflow. I’m still getting mine downpat. Sometimes you have to remind people you are not Target… You are a personal, custom photography business… and with the personalized service, comes a person with a life. (Or attempting to have a life anyway.)

5. Weddings are not for the faint at heart. Do not jump into them headfirst.
It’s not as “easy” as it looks. Every time you turn around your settings need to be completely different. You have to shoot in dark churches with no flash, rooms with 4 different kinds of lights in it, at outdoor ceremonies with shadows running across the bride and groom’s faces from their canopy, at the beach where sand is going to get into every crevasse of your bag somehow, and sometimes at ceremonies where you don’t get to actually shoot at all. Not every wedding looks like something out of a bridal magazine, but you have to find a way to make it look like it was. Your images from the entire day need to flow together even if you’re in completely different conditions throughout the day. Sometimes you have to squeeze three pages of typed out family formals into 15 minutes. You have to compete with guests with iphones for the best spot when the couple is going to cut the cake… and try to figure out a way to shoot the kiss correctly when you were told no flash but twenty people in the audience are setting flashes off with their point and shoots at the exact same 8.27 second moment.

6. Get an Accountant now.
Save yourself the headache. They’ll help you write off their own fees.

7. Learn to say NO.
Say it with me… “no”. Making money is nice… but its not worth it all the time. Don’t budge on prices. You don’t HAVE to do favors. Don’t let people convince you its just “one or two photos” or guilt trip you into things. no. no. no. no. no. Don’t bend for anyone. Don’t change your processing or posing or pricing for someone just because they ask. If they’re asking that… they don’t really want YOU. Pass them onto a different photographer who will be better suited for them. One more for good measure… “NO”.

8. If you don’t enjoy shooting it… GUESS WHAT? You don’t have to!
I didn’t enjoy shooting children or babies or families… so I stopped. I LOVE shooting weddings and couples…
To each their own. If you love shooting everything and can handle it… more power to you. Don’t be afraid to only take on what you want to though!
If you don’t like it, your work will reflect it…

9. Figure out your ideal client.
Market to them. Instead of trying to attract everyone at the same time… Attract the people that are going to want what you actually WANT to shoot and do. If you can imagine your client browsing a used book stores and hanging out at coffee shops… that’s where you advertise. If your client wants a glamorous wedding at a huge elegant venue… make your brand glamorous and elegant. If you want to shoot lifestyle family portraits in the home… figure out how to attract parents that don’t want just a traditional posed session. Apply that idea to who your very perfect client is and what you’re shooting. Once you start trying to attract your ideal clients… you’ll get them.
My final piece to that is when my new branding comes out in a few weeks. I’m finally wrapping up my ideal client marketing… and I finally hit the nail on the head. I mean, I would totally book myself…

10. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just because other people do certain things doesn’t mean you have to. You can only be you. You can’t fake your “eye”. If you don’t like flash portraits at sunset… you don’t have to do them. If you love them… rock that shhhizzzz out. Do it up. You can admire and appreciate other peoples’ work without having to do what they do.
Don’t let yourself get lost in trying to compete with other people. Compete with yourself.
Be inspired but don’t base YOU on someone else. You can’t be and won’t ever be someone else.

11. Learn the basics of photography… and not just your Manual camera settings.
Not so much lessons… but things I have found myself emailing over and over again… so here you go… Know what it means to actually hit focus and be able to tell when you haven’t. Don’t rely on your camera for correct color balance… just because you put it on auto doesn’t mean your camera gets it right. PRACTICE ALL THE TIME. Take photos of everything. Everywhere. Photography IS an art… so yes, its subjective… but there are still plenty of things that you should know in order to operate your camera correctly to get the most out of it. If you’re still learning your camera settings… maybe you should take a step back and practice. Take that camera off of auto… and off of P. Watch youtube videos… pick up photography textbooks. Read blogs. Take a class… attend a workshop. Do everything you can to learn everything. Your photography will thank you for it. Don’t ever under any circumstance ever ever use a pop up flash. Bounce your flash. You don’t need the best most expensive gear ever to take good photos… but if you’re trying to charge on a professional level, you should have more than just a kit lens, and if you’re shooting weddings you’re going to need gear that can handle low light situations. You can rent things online from places like borrowlenses.com or lensrentals.com until you can afford them.

12. Your goals CAN change… but don’t base your business off of something you’re not sure you’re going to want down the line.
I branded myself before I knew what I was doing… If I would have taken the time and thought everything out, it would have been so much easier in the long run. Don’t rush into things.
IF YOU DO… you can change things. You never have to settle for things you’re not happy with. It’ll be a little more work than if you had just started out on the right foot… but things can always change. Fret not… it just takes a little elbow grease.

13. Charge for your time, but charge what you’re worth.
I’m not going to elaborate too much on this one… because its a constant fight with myself all of the time. Don’t price yourself over your abilities… but don’t sell yourself short. It’s a hard line to walk. Just be conscious of it… and be prepared to fight for your reasoning behind it.

14. Look into back button focus…
If your camera has it, I suggest it. Its life changing.

15. Remember that you (hopefully) started photography because it was something you enjoy.
I would like to assume that everyone jumps into photography because it is something they are passionate about and LOVE doing. If its not… or if it was a get rich quick scheme… you, my friend, are in the WRONG industry.
Don’t forget that you started out loving photography… make sure it stays fun. If it doesn’t… its time for a change. And when the ball gets rolling, don’t forget to shoot just for you sometimes.

And now… since I promised… i will leave you with a little song that has been stuck in my head since one of my brides, who I also get to call a very awesome friend, posted it…

]]> http://www.valeriedemo.com/2012/01/what-i-wish-someone-would-have-told-me-fun-ish-stuff-friday/feed/ 4 http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/12/welcome-home-u-s-s-truxton-virginia-military-homecoming-photographer/ http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/12/welcome-home-u-s-s-truxton-virginia-military-homecoming-photographer/#comments Mon, 12 Dec 2011 15:56:10 +0000 admin http://www.valeriedemo.com/?p=2884

I love shooting homecomings.
And I’m getting used to shooting for other photographers… I realized I’ve done quite a few sessions here lately…
But a photographer homecoming is the best!

I was double glad I could be there for LeZandra of LeZandra Photography when her husband came home this weekend, because not only is she a rad gal, but I shot some pre-deployment photos for them, and it was nice to complete the cycle. I love the fact they were both so excited to see each other… Neither one of them could stop smiling when they looked at each other… and that is exactly how a homecoming should be!

Welcome Home, Kevin!

And while we were waiting away from the crowd… it just so happens another set of photographers were busy getting reunited a few feet away! Welcome Home, Tony… and Congrats, Lyndsay. Tony and Lyndsay are the faces behind Curtis Studios.

And I don’t know who Mandy is… but, awwwwwwwwwww!
Yay for “will you marry me” signs!

]]> http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/12/welcome-home-u-s-s-truxton-virginia-military-homecoming-photographer/feed/ 1 http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/11/fun-stuff-fridays-and-now-for-the-cringing/ http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/11/fun-stuff-fridays-and-now-for-the-cringing/#comments Fri, 18 Nov 2011 17:35:36 +0000 admin http://www.valeriedemo.com/?p=2580 To follow up the last one… Here are the things that make me cringe. And shiver. Or make me mad. Or give me the willies. In no particular order…
(Don’t judge. Remember… I already admitted to being lame.)

1. spiders.
Mainly because when I get bit by one… shiz gets real. Hello, horrible allergic reactions.

2. mean people.
I mean, what’s the point… be nice, people.

3. giant walls of water.
Yeah… it is weird… but I’m petrified. Tsunami is a bad word in my house… and deadliest catch and the perfect storm are outlawed from being shown on my television.
The only thing worse than the deadliest catch is…

4. anything with sharks.
Shark week. NO. Jaws? NO! Deep Blue Sea… which I will already admit may be the worst movie ever made… TERRIFYING!

In a related matter… I recently decided my inexplicable fear of sharks and giant waves and walls of water both probably came from watching the little mermaid almost everyday in Kindergarten while I was recently watching it with my daughter… and she was hiding behind me during the storm and the shark chase.

5. over-produced, horrible music.
That’s all I’m going to say about that so I don’t accidentally offend people.

6. people who do not spell things out correctly.
Granted, I do not use proper capitalization or grammar and sentence formation… and I use “…” WAY to much… but how much time does it really take to write out “are” instead of “r” or “for” instead of “4″ or “this” instead of “dis”?

7. my food touching on my plate.
Yes, I know it is all “going to the same place”. So what? Other people’s Thanksgiving plates are my worst nightmare.

8. people complimenting my photography skills by telling me i have a nice camera.
Thank you. It is nice… I love it… but I actually have to operate it myself to take a photo. It’s like telling Picasso he had a nice paint brush.

9. pastel colors.
I just don’t like them. No rhyme or reason… I squish my nose at them when I see them. I like my colors bold, thank you very much.

10. mushrooms.
I’ll pass. No thanks.

And here is a little diddy (with a bonus one) for your listening pleasure…

]]> http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/11/fun-stuff-fridays-and-now-for-the-cringing/feed/ 0 http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/11/mr-and-mrs-arends-part-two-norfolk-wedding-photographer/ http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/11/mr-and-mrs-arends-part-two-norfolk-wedding-photographer/#comments Sat, 05 Nov 2011 01:17:11 +0000 admin http://www.valeriedemo.com/?p=2482

ANNNDDDDD the conclusion. HUGE giant thanks again to Jeremy and Alicia. You guys are amazing.

]]> http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/11/mr-and-mrs-arends-part-two-norfolk-wedding-photographer/feed/ 4 http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/11/fun-stuff-friday-of-mandolins-and-banjos-and-art-and-chips/ http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/11/fun-stuff-friday-of-mandolins-and-banjos-and-art-and-chips/#comments Fri, 04 Nov 2011 19:16:54 +0000 admin http://www.valeriedemo.com/?p=2475 Little known fact… Ok, that is a lie.
WIDELY known fact amongst people who know me… I AM A HUGE NERD.
Surprised, huh?
(Don’t answer that…I am well aware that you all know and/or think I am a huge nerd. It happens. I’m used to it.)
I liked school. A lot. Too much. I made pretty good grades. I was involved in just about every single extra-curricular activity imaginable at one point. (And pretty much in charge of it, too.) I geek out over art and history (holy cow, don’t get me started on art history) and thoroughly enjoy watching the Discovery Channel. I read non-fiction books about just about anything. I like psychological thrillers and documentaries… I’m not a fan of anything action-y (No thank you to anything with Arnold in it) and unlike most people I know, I actually hate horror movies. (My husband on the other hand has countless numbers of Zombie and horrible B-horror movies.) I am a giant, GIANT music nerd. I listen to a HUGE array of music… and while most people accept the fact that my husband is the music aficionado in our house… I know about the opposite end of the musical spectrum from him. We meet in the middle… and I’ve nudged him over to my side on some stuff… but I geek out over a lot.
So, today… to just make you think I am that much more nerdy than you already did… I decided it would be fun to write out my top ten favorite things… and next week you’ll get my top ten least favorite things.
(Clearly… being a Mom and Wife and being able to spend my career as a Photographer and family and friends are the best things in life… but these are more of things. Less blatently obvious things.)
Enjoy making judgements about me.

Top Ten Most Awesome Random Things in Life According to Valerie (in no particular order)
1. Art.
(heART.) Chagall and Klimt and Cezanne and Monet and Kandinsky and Van Gogh and anyone who sees things in a completely new and different way. Amazing.
2. Anything with a Mondolin and/or Banjo in it.
Done, I’m sold. Also, being able to play them. One day when I have spare time (ha!) I WILL learn to play them.
3. The color green.
Also, the color mustard, and Navy blue… and grey. And anything in a black and white pattern. I’m a fan of the fact that all of those colors are cool now… time to stack up on items before I go back to never being able to find anything in those colors again.)
4. Chips and White Sauce from Plaza Azteca or Guads…
If you’re not from Virginia Beach chances are you have no idea what I’m talking about since white sauce only seems to be found in Virginia Beach. Lame… FYI, you’re missing out.
5. Being your own person.
Boo-yah. I don’t think I will ever own a polo shirt. I wear my tattoos proudly. And I wear stuff most people look at at the store and wonder “Who buys that?”. (Me. That’s who.)
6. Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes.
I have nothing more to say about them. They are bits of heaven in frosted cake form.
7. Having a techy-computer nerd for a husband.
Personal computer tech in the house 24/7 for the win.
8. Jim Gaffigan.
He’s hilarious. Seriously.
9. Buying Gifts for People.
I’m pretty good at it. And I like it. End of story.
10. Going to see Live Music.
There isn’t anything better than a cold beer and an awesome band live.

And for your laughing pleasure… enjoy a little Jim Gaffigan instead of a song today.

]]> http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/11/fun-stuff-friday-of-mandolins-and-banjos-and-art-and-chips/feed/ 4 http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/11/mr-and-mrs-arends-part-one-norfolk-wedding-photographer/ http://www.valeriedemo.com/2011/11/mr-and-mrs-arends-part-one-norfolk-wedding-photographer/#comments Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:20:36 +0000 admin http://www.valeriedemo.com/?p=2422 Ash and Aric were married on a beautiful day… at the Waterside Marriott after it was fully decked out in decor by Southern Design Studios… complete with Floral from Marlene MacDonald with Norfolk Florist and topped it off with lighting by Blue Steel Lighting Design … so my job was pretty easy… NOT TO EVEN BEGIN to mention how awesomely awesome Aric and Ash are… hello, amazing! Right?!?!? Not only does she have that to die for red hair… but she wore her Grandma’s head piece, sewed vintage lace onto her veil, and is a rockin’ artist… and Aric isn’t too shabby either. They could both just be my personal models all the time. I’d be cool with that.
HUGE GIANT BIG thanks to Alicia White and Jeremy Grieff for coming out and shooting with me and capturing some of the amazing images below… It is amazing to have such talented photographers work with you…and to be able to call them both great friends as well.

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